Translation thanks to @eurofabulous:
Yann: Usually he gets welcomed by thunders of applause. The girls scream and take off their shirts. The photographers yell at him. It's a riot and complete chaos.
Tonight, let's spare him that, if only just for his ears. Let's welcome one of the biggest star of the world in silence. Here is Robert Pattinson.
Welcome to the show.
Rob: Hey. Silence *laughs*
Yann: Welcome to the show.
Rob: Thank you.
Yann: Bonjour.
Rob: Bonjour.
Yann: Sit down, please.
Rob: This is weird.
Yann: It is, huh? Do you like it?
Rob: Kind of, I'm a little, ... quite frightened. I don't really have experiences like that. This is serious.
Yann: They can scream if you want. Would you prefer that?
Rob: I mean if you feel like doing it. But you don't have to.
Rob: It's better. I'm definitely not tired of it yet.
Yann: You're 26 and British, a huge worldwide star and you're the lead of Cosmopolis, the new movie of David Cronenberg.
And I'm going to ask you something difficult, summarize the plot and the mood of the movie in only one sentence.
Rob: It's quite difficult to summarize in one sentence but it's basically about a guy, a millionaire trader that goes across town in his limo and his world just goes completely insane in one day. That's the simple way of explaining it.
Yann: Ok, that's one sentence. The new president of the French Republic?
Rob: Describe him in one sentence?
Yann: No. Do you know him?
Rob: I'm incredibly ignorant.
Yann: His name is François Hollande and he was elected partly because of this sentence.
FH: This adversary governs: it's the world of finance.
Yann: The world of finance. Are the bad guys in movies financial traders now instead of the indians?
Rob: I don't know, I don't really see it like that ... That's amazing tho, this phrase but huh ...
Yann: Why?
Rob: Just the fact that someone is bold enough to say that in this kind of high position. Like every single person working in finance are gonna hate him.
Yann: Yes.
Teenagers loved you before now it's Télérama, the Inrock and Libération. You became the hero of the French intellectual press. Do you get a kick out of that?
Rob: Yeah, definitely. But it becomes ... it's very, very easy to become pretentious after that. I spent the last five years with people who asked me questions about my favorite food or stuff like, what's the perfect date ... And now I'm asked: 'what do you think of the economy?' I'm like, I don't know, I don't know anything about that.
Yann: Speaking of that, you gave thousands of interviews since the beginning of the Twilight saga. We gathered all the questions, the most boring ones that always come back, that are asked all the time. You're going to tell us, right after, which one pisses you off the most, ok?
Rob: Ok.
Questions: Are you the new Brad Pitt?
Are you the new Jude Law?
Rob, are you the new Robert Redford?
Have you ever drank blood?
Watch out, I have garlic, vampire!
How does it feel to be a sex symbol?
Was there pressure by shooting with someone like Cronenberg?
Like most vampires do you live during the night?
Isn't it hard to be famous at 26?
As a British man, do you like pudding?
So, the rivality between you and Taylor Lautner during Twilight filming, is that true?
Can I have an autograph?
You're rich, handsome and famous. What else is do you need?
Hey Robert, you're a ladies' man.
When are you and Kristen getting married?
How old were you when you kissed a girl for the first time?
Fans that scream all the time are irritating, right?
Do you speak French? Could you say a few words for your fans?
What do you have planned after the interview?
Yann: The most boring one?
Rob: That's every interview I've ever done. Those are the normal questions.
Yann: What's the most boring one then?
Rob: I don't know. Mainly, like, *drops his earpiece* I've lost my mind! I think ... a lot of people ask me ...
*Audience claps*
Rob: I thought I was getting an applause because I got it back in here. A lot of people ask me, ... tons of people ask me if I think I'm going to have a career after Twilight, which is really nice to hear: 'Are you worried you're gonna be a total failure after Twilight?' I get asked that a lot.
Yann: Yesterday, the author of a beautiful book about Marilyn Monroe was here on this show. Listen to what she told us.
Yann: If Marilyn Monroe was a 30 years old woman today, who would it be? From the top of my head I have: Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, ... stop me when you agree on one. Rihanna ...
François-Marie Santucci: No, I was gonna say none of them. I'm gonna give you a more twisted answer and say Robert Pattinson, I think.
Rob: You didn't give her very many good options. Between Paris Hilton, Britney Spears or me.
Yann: She didn't let me finish. There was Scarlett Johansson. Do you know why, do you a comment?
She said that because ...
Rob: It's my boobs.
Yann: She said that as a compliment because she was a popular heroine, worshipped but smart. So, that's why she said that.
Can I ask you one last thing? Just for me. *puts on vampire teeth* Do I look good?
Rob: It's beautiful.
Yann: Thank you Robert Pattinson. Your new movie is Cosmopolis by David Cronenberg.
Do you want screams, tiny cheers or the silence to leave?
Rob: I mean, I quite like the idea of leaving in silence, maybe everyone can just hum. Just hum. A dramatic exit.
Yann: Thank you Robert Pattinson.
Rob: Thank you.
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